Yes, you could be miserable in five years time. These are actually kind of shitty, hard years where you're just starting to become a real adult and get bruised a lot and need to figure out who you are. Then when problems arose, being older with many years of experience and knowing exactly what I wanted, we differed in the way we handled situations. Maybe he doesn't have a Serious Girlfriend of the sort he'd spend holidays with, but you are not the only woman he is involved with.
We also talk regularly on the phone late at night which I imagine is not very likely to happen if a girlfriend is a reality. He's gross and immature and wants to have sex with you and will say whatever it takes. He has so much life ahead and many things to do and see. The point is that this isn't good and I'll bet serious money that if you stay with him there will be tears. Sadly, he turned out to be controlling, narcissistic, mentally and physically abusive and not to mention a cheater.
This meant that the relationships were ultimately doomed. Don't get easily impressed and lulled into trusting this guy. Or, you could have a romantic dinner at his house and choose not to have sex. You don't need to deal with this bullshit.
But it's also weird and creepy and a huge lie. Fuck that noise, you can do so much better. At my age then, although I was mature for my age, I hadn't experienced enough, lived enough, gone through enough, to be on an adults level. At this age, we deserve relationships that are fun, light and full of enthusiasm. Never date anyone who's not wildly enthusiastic about you and welcoming of you into his life.
You are sexually on different planets. You want to date people in a not-heading-right-to-marriage way, maybe be sexual with people you're really close to, but not marry the first person you are with out of the gate. Dump him and read Baggage Reclaim.
Actually, this guy doesn't sound that conflicted anymore. My sister says that I am step away from molestation. The fact he wants that to be your problem not his is a massive screaming red flag.
He tells me he's in love with me and so on. Never mind what we think, he thinks that this potential relationship would be bad for you and damaging to you, but he wants to string you along towards it anyway. It's weird to demand a specific planned length for a relationship before it even starts. Maybe you're waiting for something he can't offer, but you haven't worked that out yet.
Your first statements about him pressuring you for sex were very clear. No youre not wrong for judging, happy I think its gross as well about how many sexual partners he has had. What if you're just another one of those girls he wants to sleep with? Success stories would be much appreciated.
Ah, yeah, french dating culture I missed a paragraph the first time around. He's telling you loud and clear that it can't work now. This guy is just not going to work out and who knows what his problem is.
As long as people are happy together, I'm really not someone to make judgements. Please, please find someone cooler who has no suspicious power dynamics going on therefore probably closer to your age. Why did I put up with that?
34 year old dating 20 year old -very confused - Older relationship
But not when you're a virgin. Age is just a number just make sure hes interested in you for other reasons then sex because he is kind of a lot older than you and should be with someone his own age. Also, it sounds like he has been preparing you for when he loses interest once he does succeed.
You deserve much much better. That, to a lot of us, he sounds really emotionally immature doesn't matter. Also, in every case, brief encounters dating site we were in very different places in our lives. It's so generic but there are many fish in the sea.
Don't let this guy do that to you, he sounds sleazy less because of his age than his behavior. He's not the right guy for you, from and the age difference is just a tiny part if why. Take him at his word that he no longer wants to be in the relationship he's been trying to persuade you to commit to.
- Also deep down he probably really is the one who has an issue with the age difference, that's why he rather let it stay unobtainable and not turn into reality.
- Probably too much different in where they are in life, but there is always counterexamples.
- You seem to know your answer - you're at different places in your life.
- He should have initiated this when he discovered you weren't up for having sex with him.
He's made it pretty clear that what he wants and what you want aren't compatible. Not this fake sort of break-up you've been having, but for real. Also, your statements were very familiar to me, so therefore, much more believable than your backtracking. Plus, you should consider how the laws are stacked against the older man.
He's been meticulously careful about building up to it, the issue is more that I don't like oral and he thinks I should experience that before actual sex. Think about the feeling you get when he pulls away from you when you start to express strong feelings. But what it sounds like is that there are some real incompatibilities here, only some of which have to do with the age gap.
Notifications You have no notifications. Guys do mature slower than women. According to wilde's theory of the appropriate age, I'm technically within range. Have you ever felt deliciously in love?
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If he is using these advantages to leverage permission to behave like an ass, then yeah, he's an ass. If I could do it all over again I would have just stayed friends and had so much fun with him like before we've became personal. Yeah, dude has a girlfriend, maybe even a serious one. Many people never learn it. So I'm going to allow this to happen because it's happening for a reason.
What you need to be asking is, is this right for you? Maybe it's something else or you aren't sure what you want. But I come to realize the his mother and brother dislike me for no reason at all. Your hearing his family on the phone in no way precludes him from having a sex life that doesn't involve you. With all things said, it really doesn't seem like a good prospect.
You ought to be able to find someone without all these issues and mini-breakups. That's how you know that the relationship will be ridiculous and full of drama. Especially if he's conflicted.
We were not dating exclusively. For your first sexual relationship, I recommend dating someone near your age because it's easier to manage boundaries when you're roughly of a similar age and experience level. Just because dating without a knot of tension in your stomach is more fun!
- So grateful for all your time and advice.
- An older man is fun, and exciting, and interesting, but my opinion, for what it's worth - not for your first.
- This kind of thing can make a relationship seem a lot more interesting than it is.
- In my experience, that's what this type of relationship is like.
- If you and he want to rock each other's world, enjoy it.